- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Next!"

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Jdkfk

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book