- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

"Next!"

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Jdkfk

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book