Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

I hate you already.

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!