Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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I hate you already.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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