Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!