roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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