Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -71

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +206

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

thumb_up thumb_down +87

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -95

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!