Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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