- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Jdkfk

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!