I hate you already.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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adam burdass

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!