Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Jdkfk

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Hey, you want a ride?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!