Hey, you want a ride?

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!