This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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You smell just like my mom...

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!