-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!