I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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I hate you already.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!