Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

adam burdass

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

-hey, come here a minute.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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