Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!