Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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You allergic to semen?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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