that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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You smell just like my mom...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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adam burdass

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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