Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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You allergic to semen?

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!