hey Herpes Go Away!

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!