Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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You allergic to semen?

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!