He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!