hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Anti-Pickup Line

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