- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

hey baby i just came in my pants

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

-hey, come here a minute.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!