There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Hello children! :D

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!