Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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