Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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