Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Put the lotion on the skin!

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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