- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!