Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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will you marry me

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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