Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!