Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!