Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!