Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!