You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed *throws glass that breaks* have at you! *slaps man* Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! *punches Shaft* Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hello children! :D

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!