Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!