- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Put the lotion on the skin!

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

So, you're a girl, huh?

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book