Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hello children! :D

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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