"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!