I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +12

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down -42

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!