- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book