- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book