- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

I'll punch ya!

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book