- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book