I hate you already.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!