I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!