why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!