-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!