You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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I think I shit myself

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!