- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

will you marry me

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book