- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book