WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

jack sanders

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Anti-Pickup Line

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