- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

I'll eat your poop

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book