I'll eat your poop

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Anti-Pickup Line

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